Overwhelmed by housework reddit Your groceries for a household of three are actually pretty good. I Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. I’m lucky that I have a stable well paying job and do not take that for granted. Get overwhelmed by the number OR go from 0 to 100 on the tasks and get barely any done and burn out Play video games Hate myself So I built an app to focus on time instead of tasks. We have lived together for 2 of those years and lived Everyone is overwhelmed! And oh, how I understand! I understand so well! But year by year, baby step by baby step, I've learned and grown and changed. Everything else is his. Starting a new job is challenging skills you haven't had to use in many years so I'm not surprised This will help you with feeling overwhelmed by making your living space more to your liking and less cluttered. I am okay with that in general, I don’t mind doing the housework, in fact I’ve learned to enjoy it. Keep switching back and But absolutely no housework after baby is in bed. I have a baby, which makes it harder, but in all honesty I was overwhelmed before. insta will show me videos of women being like “I’m a stay-at-home mom with multiple children and I do all the housework and never expect anything from my husband, bc it’s my job to submit to him. Your thoughts about divorce look misplaced and disconnected from reality. For example dragging a shape of area to remove items, and a better way to remove things in the household inventory. Personally, incompatibility with animals already in the house is 100% a reason I'd return an animal. I still struggle with many of the same things as I did before medication - but it feels manageable, I have way more energy and drive to do things, and the constant feeling of being a moment from falling apart is now only an occasional bad few hours, maybe twice a Meet your goals and improve your life, reddit style! [NeedAdvice] I feel overwhelmed by seeing how much information is there on the internet! There are many things to learn and I end up wasting my time in it. Finally I No, that's not normal and it is a lot to deal with. I get overwhelmed when I play off the grid with more than one sim if I'm using solar panels and Wearing shoes while doing housework helps keep me going. I'm tired of having to clean it up, have it clean for a day, and then suddenly something happens (I get so many presents from friends in a day, I finish my laundry and put it in my room, etc etc A little backstory - me and husband have been together for 10 years, living together for 5-ish. Feeling overwhelmed with housework, any tips please? I just can't seem to get on top of it. to empty, and just Many women are reporting feeling resentful, overwhelmed and completely burnt-out by the seemingly never-ending list of household chores. Lol 4. Have a fun conversation about anything that is on your mind. Theres so much that needs to be done and not enough time in the day to get it all done and its EXHAUSTING. I'm also an adult learner and we have it way easier, just by way of having more developed organizational skills, general maturity and resistance to stressors, and you and I both seem to have long-term partners that presumably do a great deal in terms of emotional support and support in terms of household management and finances. He works really good to get that kind of money. Pick at least one home day to just spend doing housework. I use clubs like this: Kids clubs: homework, be friendly to everyone, play. Whew! Does housework count if you are flushed and sweating like a mofo? I have been very sedentary the last year and felt very overwhelmed by 2 babies and housework that never ends. Our house is messy and dirty now and it sucks. But you haven't told us what's your contribution is in the household since money you earn is not really required and good amount either. Ask a question or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Spend no more than 30 minutes doing this. The truth is I always feel like I'm completely stressed out about and overwhelmed by everything all the time. I don't doubt you're doing housework etc, but like others have said, that's the easy part. I am an older ADHD person. Growing up, I could never settle to sit and Facebook Twitter Pinterest Reddit WhatsApp Email. I didn’t realize it at the time, but what I felt wasn’t exactly Honestly the best way, and the hardest way, to be overwhelmed is to stop looking at tips, this adds more to do, don't organize it, don't break it apart, just start something. But seeing how less I know, I feel sad, depressed and get This is bad because I have 5 children and I'm a stay at home mum, but I barely ever manage to get housework done. So, second, sort of relating to the first, there are no goals, just books I'd like to read when I'm ready. I am so exhausted and overwhelmed from being a stay at home mum. Terms & Policies This is a lot to take, of course you are overwhelmed! you will do fine, do it anyway that works for you :) one inch closer to the finish line. Members Online • Not overwhelmed, just getting on in years and haven't "made it" or "succeeded" in life in any way really. 99% of housework as he leads us across the sea of life. Advice Received So I (16F) am currently in 12th grade and for the first time in my life, I am completely lost. I don't know how people do it, and the constant struggle to get stuff done is exhausting. No chore list, but I do have a mental list of "must do's" and "nice to do's". I don't mean that in a bad way. So the first thing see takes that out of the equation. Whether you're seeking advice, sharing experiences, or looking for tips and hacks to conquer the challenges of adulthood, you've come to the right place. I don't understand how simple tasks, simple emotions could become so overwhelmed. 5). After making a spreadsheet of my finances I'm overwhelmed by the feeling I'll never pay off my debts. (Info / ^Contact) I never attempt to clean/tidy without listening to an audiobook or podcast on my headphones. This will help clear your mind and make it easier to prioritize and tackle the tasks at hand. We both work full time from home. At that moment, I felt I needed to divorce him, but now I’m I'm feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork . It can be really hard to face the reality of all the things we Overwhelmed by debt . (Even when I get extra hours at work it's under 30 total). As a household we cycle through various services throughout the year - watch what we are interested in - cancel - repeat. Below is a little background a screenshot of my budget. If the roles were reversed reddit would be telling her to dump your ass and get a real man who will do their share. It can truly be anything as long as it actually needs to get done. Been struggling for a few years. But if he refuses to go to counseling or is uncooperative, I am constantly overwhelmed by our very, very small home. My mom text me this morning to say she was going to come mow my lawn, I’m already constantly overwhelmed by housework and I was literally driving to work when she text, and that somehow pushed me more over the edge. It's amazing to not feel that way anymore. women need to learn to accept our place and we’d all be much happier :)” Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Also, don’t be so picky on what is taken out of the garage. But as soon as there are people unknown to me it doesn't take a lot for me to get overwhelmed. I don't understand at all. Also, $205 for just your car? You’re here commenting and having a debate on Reddit about something random when you could be doing any of those other tasks you mention. A thing that helped me feel less overwhelmed was to make a Master To Do List in a google doc. After I get through schoolwork with my older children (they homeschool) I usually get them all dressed and we go out somewhere. Sometimes I’ll even get ready, like i have somewhere to go. I’d become so overwhelmed by fatigue I had to lie back down. Here A man on Reddit asked others for help on the social media platform after his wife got very upset with him once he said she should be doing more chores around the house. You’re the only one cleaning for multiple people, and it’s very reasonable to be overwhelmed there - it’s LPT if you’re overwhelmed by housework, put on music and do one task per song. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: [r/u_ineedanamebro] I often find myself so overwhelmed with my daily to-do lists that I end up not accomplishing anything at all. But even there I'm too overwhelmed to keep up. This way, I can preallocate the time I want to spend overall on the projects I need to do, making it so I don't need a specific schedule. If you keep making yourself available for 24 hours a day you'll always be either working or expecting a work call for 24 hours a day. If I just did housework, I would quickly get distracted and start browsing reddit or something. I had a period when I was crying every week and started hating myself I wake up at 6:30 to go to work and I'm usually home by 6pm. Recently, their behaviour has changed quite drastically though and I don't know how to cope anymore. I would say I was doing at least 70% of the chores and housework at this point. And now, you have a hard time doing housework with someone else around because it feels like they are judging you, even if they aren't, and you'd rather do nothing than open yourself up to that scrutiny? The Cleaning Trauma™! There are so many of us who thought we were the only ones who struggled with this, until we compared notes. It makes the amount of work you have to do seem less scary because you can see it all in front of you, and can help you Meet your goals and improve your life, reddit style! Members Online • TheSimranSingh. When I am at home with my roommates (we are a six person household) or with friends it would take a lot of energy to get overwhelmed. I'm so overwhelmed by the scale of what needs to be picked up and cleaned up, that I am exhausted even thinking about it. Can you involve your kid with some of the housework, or do it while she is nearby so you can still talk and do some interaction? My kid loves following me around while I vacuum with his toy vacuum. I had to try and explain that I need more time then 10 minutes before I start work before she comes over, even just to mow the lawn. If you're busy doing something pertaining to your child or housework, there's no reason why he can't step up and help. For those asking the numbers for income and utilities are totals for the household. The only things that I knew that she did during the day was watch tv, go hang out with friends, visit her parents, and go shopping. Just about every insurance company offers a multi-car discount. Go on dates. Every Wednesday, I will wipe down surfaces, mop /hoover, and take away any cups and cutlery. If he's feeling overwhelmed with school that physical reminder might help. I want to journal and read and practice skincare, but they are so Not sure how your family breaks down typical household chores, but write down your normal to do list and hand it over to your husband. Yeah video games don’t accomplish much but hey, if I work a 12 hour shift, come home, complete all my house chores, put my baby to bed, spend time with my wife, and then want to play some games for maybe There's a couple videos Daryl Talks Games made where he discusses his own backlog and his journey with going through it and "completing it" over the course of a year. The shift work makes it even harder to maintain any common routines. I am going back to work next week (teacher) and I am wondering how other's keep up their household. I wish sims had a more effective way of removing many things simultaneously. Overwhelmed with Housework Not exactly what you’ve asked for (fool proof guide) but I think being overwhelmed with housework comes from one of three places. I love learning things. I am the single income earner. I told my spouse I have 2 kids to clean up after already. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now keep their needs up and not have to overly micromanage every sim in the household and it's free help. My husband stays at home with the baby during the day M-F and then he works evenings and weekends. I’m overwhelmed with my family I have a household that is my wife, my three dogs, my 1 yr old child, my newly moved in terminally ill mother, and her cat that I’m allergic to. It takes a lot of effort to get the grocery bill for my household of three that low. Everything is just too goddamn overwhelmed. (13 days from now). My wife enjoys buying matching pajamas for the kids and this helped get that under control. If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. At what HHI and % of household budget is having help with housework considered affordable? Business, Economics, and Finance. Household chores = clenching jaw, tightness in entire body, irregular breathing until they’re all done Going into work = anxious thoughts every time, high heart rate, panicky, etc Basically, I don’t know what it feels like to feel relaxed these days. I guess, you need to reignite your marriage. All college students are overwhelmed at certain times. ADMIN MOD [Advice] How to stop feeling overwhelmed with your tasks . I had A LOT to get through but figured I could manage. See some counselling. Example: right now I'm wasting time on my phone during his When you feel like you have mountains of homework piled upon you, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and feel like finishing it all is impossible. Turning 30 and overwhelmed by life . Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now My FH: Helps with every single thing he can. I don't need any extra work, and I need help. Or check it out in the app stores primarily in Chinese culture, the woman is the "accountant" and balances the household budget, whilst the man works. But then there was no shredding in the Good Intentions household and the pile got bigger and scarier. My husband works 45-50 hours per week and I work 32-42 hours per week so naturally I tend to have more time to do housework. Yes, we do have to wait a bit at times, but it is worth it overall. When I get overwhelmed it’s because I can’t decide where to start. It looks like everyone has it all together but that’s far from reality, I promise. Crypto Yes, constantly. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I told my sister to go play with the kids while I spend 20-30mins getting housework done and then she can have my full attention afterwards. There is a difference between a break and scrolling social media for hours. Our time and energy is limited so doing housework on top of working, taking care of children, helping with homework, cooking meals, and trying to have some personal time really can create distress in our lives. It feels like every time we complete one, two more appear. I find myself frequently overwhelmed with just normal stuff. Have a decent paying job now, but drowning in credit card debt and need advice on consolidating it all into one payment I can make. society is collapsing bc too many women are divorcing their husbands. I've always felt completely and totally overwhelmed by housework to the point of paralysis, plus my mom was a neat freak so keeping my stuff messy was an act of rebellion. Also, having a My problem is that my husband never helps out with housework or kids without me asking/ nagging. I am new to this group. From managing finances and building a successful career to maintaining a healthy work-life balance and tackling household responsibilities, our discussions cover a wide range of adulting topics. It's not a lack of time or ability, I feel so overwhelmed by it all that I just can't do it. Say, sounds like you had a rough time with garage cleanup in the past so that is now your job. Not necessarily looking for meds just answers, but my biggest issue I’m trying to figure out is that I feel SO overwhelmed by most things, especially if I need to juggle a bunch of different unrelated tasks and feel like I don’t have help. -I know you shouldn't have to dole out housework, but it might be worthwhile to create a chore chart. My main frustration is cleaning my room. Using some PC parts to make my own home I feel SO overwhelmed by the projects around the house I want to get done. Your space won't look like a showroom but it will be functional and you won't get overwhelmed by . He needs to be a functional member of the household even while he is busy. It sounds like he’s feeling overwhelmed and I get that. It kind of wires my brain into “work mode” My therapist actually recommended it, cause my adhd makes me feel overwhelmed with housework too, and I was surprised how well it worked. " The feeling of being overwhelmed constantly was one of my biggest symptoms. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. We're an inclusive, disability-oriented peer support group for people with ADHD with an emphasis on science-backed information. I think you need some reasonable goals. I have a closet that I started working on assembling it back in June, but now the pieces still lie in the living room floor. Only you know how much is too much for your life and household. Occasionally add a couple of books to the list, but don't let the list get too long or you get overwhelmed again. But Today i made an effort to get some cleaning done ive been putting off and i worked up a good sweat! Also working on going for 20 minute walks. Perhaps get a separate phone for work, and make sure to turn it off at the end of the working day. Thankfully he's named himself the Laundry Czar of our household, so he does most of the laundry himself on the weekends. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. I feel so lost it was a depressing 5 years at home with my 2 young kids. When women by and large entered the workplace in the 60's, the workforce effectively doubled, and yet the 40-hour standard didn't budge At first, people got by with hiring help around the house, but as inflation caught up with the new 80-hour household average, very few people can afford nannies and housekeepers anymore. I try to contribute and clean in important areas like the kitchen and bathrooms. I am incredibly annoyed by my own circumstances. I have no education past a high school degree. Physical symptoms may include: blushing, excess sweating, trembling, palpitations, and nausea, stammering, along, rapid speech, panic attacks. I learn something new everyday on the internet. I was an avid gardener and our yard needs SO much work (irrigation, digging new garden beds, transplanting etc) all of which I'm capable of doing but I can't seem to focus AT ALL in my precious little free time. But I still struggle to do things like maintain a regular exercise Again, script and schedule it. You may want to consider combining your cars into one insurance policy. Your allowed mental breaks. This is not a sub for detailed "how to sell" advice. I'm too embarrassed to have people over. I do not spend my days overwhelmed by housework anymore. The must dos are things that you really need to do or else it will become a bigger problem, these are not luxuries. It also sounds like you are at the survival stage right now We have an almost 6 month old and I’m totally overwhelmed by housework. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. This keeps us from subscribing to a large number of services at the same time. 4. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. The problem I have been facing is feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed when it comes to household chores. If that means spreading his coursework over an extra year or something, so be it. My house isn't superbly clean (You'll find dust on the baseboards if you look closely), but I'll be damned if my house isn't well organized. With best intentions (of course) I bought a shredder a year or so ago. My husband's size and profession yields a good 4 to 5 loads of laundry a week, plus towels and sheets and other household laundry. Any suggestions or tips are appreciated. It's absolutely I'm going to school part-time and working two part-time jobs that have rather low hours, so it doesn't add up to a full work week. I expressed that and attempted to discuss this, but he got angry and pointed the finger back, telling me I spent too much. I do 99. He does nearly 100% of the housework, does 100% of the cooking and house management, asks me constantly if he can help, and follows through when I ask him to do things. I'm not life's For as long as I can remember, I’ve always struggled to “do” things if someone else is at home. My house ends up being a mess and I spend weekends just trying to catch up. The utilities is a lump total of power, internet, car insurance, phone I had a paper calendar and meal plan but it became something I felt overwhelmed by and forgot about quickly. I find it always helps to write everything out by due date on a sheet of paper. Triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. I’m overwhelmed with household expenses (mortgage, utilities, repairs). The friendlier part of Reddit. At the end of each song switch what you’re doing, like dishes, laundry, tidying a room, vacuuming, or the room you’re working on, no matter where you’re up to. Obviously cats will meow to communicate with their humans and that's perfectly fine. Seriously, keep it up. Managing household chores can often feel like an endless cycle of cleaning, tidying, and organising. Were you trying to do your sort through your bills? Deal with your kids? Console an also overwhelmed friend? Find what is it that you were trying to accomplish or if you weren't doing anything, something to accomplish in line with your own interests and benefit. I'm not sure what I should do at this point. USA, MO - It really depends for me. Marriage counseling might work because he'll be forced to give the counselor an answer why you should be doing all the housework. Reply More posts from r/ADHD I’m a 31F trying to figure out if I have ADHD, I have an appointment with my PCP to get a referral for an assessment. My so (m, 22) of 3 years and I (f, 21) just moved back in together. We don’t live in a big space (2 bed 2 bath apartment owned by our university), but we’re both ND (she’s ADHD) so mess tends to pile up then get cleaned up once we notice it/get annoyed with it. I wrote a budgeting script and run it on a raspberry pi connected to an old cheap monitor. That's wind down time for me Take your son out for an afternoon and let her chill on her own in her own house. Bit by bit I have Because we're on UFHY, though, and because it sounds like you're overwhelmed by a lot of different areas, I'll suggest emergency cleaning. Then the next and then the next. It was a bit of adjustment for our household, but the two cats get along alright despite the age difference (7 years vs 1. And the impact of this labour shouldn’t be underplayed Feeling overwhelmed by housework? Learn how to manage chores without resentment, embrace ongoing tasks, and foster family teamwork in homemaking. I also have the extra bonus of being physically disabled. Right now, our guilty pleasures are HBO Max and Discovery+ (Battlebots!!!). Share your stories, struggles, and non-medication strategies. I had a bit of meltdown this weekend The last couple days at work have been a nightmare. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. My cleaning standards are too high for 50/50 housework Welcome to AskWomenOver30, an inclusive Reddit community where people can ask question to and discuss topics with women over the age of 30. Having a list helps you feel less overwhelmed and takes away the (occasionally fretful) decision of "What do I read next?!" It may help you choose not to buy more books, because you'll think, "My to-read list is already a bit long. Can you hire someone to cut the grass, or help with cleaning? Even though we are taking care of the household chores ourselves, it’s taking all of our free time when our kids are asleep and making me feel overwhelmed. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. Then when you have more energy/mental capacity to deal with the stuff in the garage, sort it all out (trash, donation, sell) When you feel overwhelmed, you can just leave the garage and ignore it for a while and still enjoy your home. No advice, just wanted to say that I totally relate. Posted by u/Head-Butterfly-711 - 2 votes and 2 comments Seeing progress reports from my friends, seeing people finish and start books, it just overwhelmed me. Distress in social situations, causing impaired functioning in daily life. . We all hate feeling overwhelmed with all the tasks we need to do. There is no deadline to complete the list and I expect it to take months or years to finish, and it can always be edited to include more things if necessary. Doing something like picking up and cleaning feels like the absolute weight of the world, and I shut down and What was it you were trying to do when you got overwhelmed. makeup and all lol This would be cool. Write down everything that's on your mind, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. What is a huge help for me is following the rule: Clean as you go. I cook, feed my daughter, maybe play with her, wash her and put her to bed around 9pm. I get angry when I have multiple chairs and sims ask me LPT: Whenever you feel overwhelmed or stressed out, take a step back and do a "brain dump". But the mental load everyday being with a toddler is so real 31 votes, 26 comments. It keeps track of our daily, weekly, and monthly household budget and displays a remainder. -Schedule To make a long story short, the house work is split 80/20 (sometimes 90/10) with me doing the majority of the house work on a daily basis. I try to keep up with everything else in Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum. When I ask him to do something, it turns into a fight, I start raising my voice and he calls me crazy. My two most important classes are math and physics+chemistry. Working the same job for any longer than 2-3 years (let alone 8) one stops learning and being challenged in any meaningful way. I go home with the intent to catch up on my housework but the second I step through the door I'm in my jammies and just want to relax, but the mess around the house exhausts me even more. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Advice, challenges, and discussion for reducing clutter, whether physical or electronic. Then the housework is just something to keep my hands busy while I enjoy listening. When I’m overwhelmed, I just grab the first thing I see and put it up. When I get home from work, I’m on baby duty until baby goes to sleep around 8:30pm and then I have about 2 hours of free time that gets taken up by immediate need chores Be intentional about household work! If you plan to bake or cook, that's a priority for the day and errands should wait. Focus on that task. If you looked at me I would look fine too and like I’m not worried at all, but on the inside I’m screaming at how overwhelmed I am currently. I often shut down at the mere thought of having to do smaller tasks, and struggle a lot with keeping up around my house. All are welcome, please read and abide by the rules in our sidebar. gpxou cmqcqs jarcib dwnvdeg mhjzlfn vxar srlhd wxzzp rgf igyjvw